It has been a bit over a week since we returned from China and life is good. Not perfect, but good.
We left our hotel at 5am Friday in China and arrived in Seattle exactly 24 hours later. It was a long day of travel but I cannot express the joy of landing at SeaTac on a beautiful fall day here in the Northwest. It was just what I needed.
O was a champ on the flights. Luckily he loves a good TV show, whether in English or Chinese, so he was occupied. He got a little upset when we turned off the TV to make him sleep, but after a mini struggle he passed out for a good 5-6 hours. Unfortunately Tyler and I didn't catch a wink. O was laying all over us which made it pretty hard to get comfy.
We were picked up by my wonderful friend, Jessica, and driven home to see the girls. They were jumping in the window so excited. Oh I could have held them for hours if they would have let me but they were more into meeting their brother. It was super cute how excited they all were to meet each other. They spent the rest of the day taking out every toy in the house, playing with it for five minutes, and moving to the next. I practiced following behind them cleaning everything up so I wouldn't go crazy. That lasted for the next 24 hours which is exactly how I kept myself awake long enough before passing out.
To be honest, jet lag wasn't too bad for Tyler and I. O had a little less than a week of staying up late and sleeping in, but I think he is right on track with the girls now.
So, how are we all adjusting as a family of five?
I will start with O. He seems to be doing great. We definitely had a honeymoon period of three or four days where he probably thought he was in Disneyland. We saw only smiles and excitement out of him. Although we are trying to be pretty strict about this whole cocooning thing we did take him to my sisters to meet our immediate family and it went great. Again, he just loves to play. A couple days later we saw some things we had seen in China which pretty much involves him getting upset when we tell him he can't do something or we take something away from him. The complete blessing in this is that these incidences are becoming fewer and far between. We are learning how to communicate with one another and we think he is starting to understand that mommy and daddy aren't trying to ruin his fun but we want him to be safe and we love him.
We are constantly telling him how much we love him and he even says it back to us quite often (in both English and Chinese). He is still waking up pretty grumpy (may get that from momma) but once he snaps out of it and gets a little food in his belly he is looking for snuggles. He loves to sit on our lap and often wants to be held. It is pretty sweet and we are just eating it up. It can be tough when you have a two year old screaming for the same thing (more on that later) so it is really nice, over the weekend, to have Tyler home to divide and conquer.
He isn't eating a ton but he is eating and we are figuring out how to present food to him in a way that he will try new things. We saw the International Adoption Physician and he was really happy with O. We will go see a cleft specialist after the New Year. He seems to love our home and when we are gone his face lights up when we pull into the driveway. He acts very excited about Henna (our dog) and laughs when she is in the yard, but he is very frightened when she gets close. Tonight he actually touched her without freaking out and I am so glad cause she is so sweet. He loves his sisters. Just today, D was gone with some friends and he went searching for her and called out her name over and over as we were waiting for her to get home. Loved it!
I am so proud of D. She has been amazing and has completely surprised both Tyler and I. She has been so good at sharing and understanding that we need to cater to O right now. She has not put up one fight about things being unfair. We attempted two Thanksgiving dinners this weekend for just a couple hours each and had to leave abruptly due to O and she was a champ and left without a complaint. She rubs his back and tells him she loves him. She shares her food and toys and has been such a good helper. I am so impressed and a little sad at what a big girl she has been with all of this.
Lue is happy to have mommy and daddy home. She clung to me all night the day we got home and I was in heaven. I missed her snuggles. She too is such a big girl and wants to do everything her sister and brother are doing.... or eating. She does not want to be left out of anything so if we are catering to O she wants in on the action. If O is on my lap she is pulling my leg out to get on there too. Pretty funny, sometimes super annoying, but adorable. Love her!
How are mom and dad adjusting? Hmmmmm? We are good. Three is a whole lot different than two.We are so thankful that we are loving and bonding with this little man. We are grateful for such an amazing boy. But while we are counting our blessings we still can have some tough moments. We are completely out of our comfort zone. The Lord has weakened us in our parenting and in some ways we are starting all over.
This is a new kind of parenting that neither of us have experienced. It is almost the opposite in so many ways of how we have parented our girls. We don't know may others who have been in our shoes so we are relying on some adoption support and our own instincts to do what we think (hope) is best.
I think it is the unknown that makes me feel weak. I love this little boy so much but I still don't really KNOW him yet. We are figuring each other out. This little guy comes with four years of experiences that I have no clue about. That makes me feel weak. I know everything about my girls and I can tell you why they do almost everything they do. I am lucky to stay at home with these little blessings and have been with them almost every minute of every day of their lives. I know them well.
I will get to know O and it is actually fun and super sweet figuring him out. There are moments of rejection that may be normal four year old characteristics, but unfortunately I have no idea. I don't know if in those moments of anger he is really hating me or just having a stubborn moment. I don't know the root behind his anger and frustration. I don't know if he suffered abuse, neglect or is just missing his old life. So, although those moments seem small and he IS such a good boy, those moments are like a knife to a momma's heart and can make you feel so incredibly weak.
I know in my weakness I have nothing to do but lean on the Lord. I know He likes me to be uncomfortable because in my discomfort I must go to Him. When I get to comfy in life I tend to try and handle everything on my own and that is no place to be.
So I am happy to be in this place. It isn't easy, but I have so much joy in it. I have witnessed so much joy in it. Three weeks ago this little guy did not have a family or a place to call "his home." Today he has both. This was week one of a lifetime. How incredible?!
We had such a good Thanksgiving weekend. We spent the actual day of thanksgiving hiking and playing. We didn't stress about food and just made everyone's favorite... noodles. We put up the Christmas lights and got our tree. Our friend Owen, I mean Santa, was at the tree farm, so we got to get pics taken with him. O and D were all about it. Lue was not.
O has loved all the lights. We hung them in both kids' rooms and they have dance parties. Tonight I saw O and Lue dancing all on their own. Such a sweet sight.
I can't wait till next year when O can understand us and we can explain to him what this season is really about. How it is about so much more than lights. We started our advent readings tonight and he read along with us so patiently. Hearing his little voice say "amen" is magical. Tyler sings "I'll Fly Away" to the kids every night and has sung it to O for three weeks now. Tonight O was running around the house totally singing it!
Lastly I must thank those who have provided meals for us. You have no idea what a blessing it has been. I know it isn't easy to plan a meal for someone else. But instead of prepping, cooking, feeding, eating, and cleaning up dinner, we are actually playing with our kids. We spend our evenings completely engulfed in one another and it is so good. We are thankful, thankful, thankful.
Love to you all! We hope you had an amazing Thanksgiving and have a beautiful Christmas. I do plan to check in before then. And praise the Lord for better picture sizes!!
