your awesomness

Did you know we didn't have a dime put away for this adoption when we started? We knew if we were going to come up with the funds to do this it would have to completely be from God. We told The Lord to open doors if he wanted us to continue and he pretty much picked us up and carried us through.

We didn't feel comfortable asking others for money. Technically we "had" the money. We could drain retirement accounts and have enough, but we weren't sure if that was what The Lord wanted us to do. We know the money doesn't belong to us so if he wants, it's his to take. I could go into great detail on how we received every dime but the reality is that The Lord worked miracles until the day before we left to cover every cost.

We are very aware that he did not accomplish this task alone. He uses others as his hands and feet and we are so incredibly grateful. He worked this miracle of adoption through the incredible generosity of others. I don't know why every time someone choose to bless us, I sat in shock and amazement. People with little themselves, people who just said this money is not my own, people who wanted to see their money go to "something good." Pure selflessness.

I am constantly amazed by the people in my life who I have the honor of calling friends and family. Tyler and I always talk about how blessed we are by the people in our lives. We love living in constant community sharing life with beautiful people. Kind, thoughtful, selfless, funny, amazing people. People who inspire us, people who teach us, challenge us and encourage us. People who love our family and love others. I pray our kids see the beauty in community. I pray they see the joy in building relationships. I pray they never get tired of our house full of people. And I pray that they someday have friends and family like we do.

Beyond money, so many of you have helped us in some of the most important ways possible. You have prayed with us, watched adoption videos with us, talked to us about our heart for adoption and when you may not have understood it, you have loved us and supported us through it. You have showered us with gifts for O. You have watched our girls while I paint furniture, go to appointments, and prep for O. You have helped me pack and shop. You have brought us dinner. You have loved my husband. He has the most amazing group of "brothers" who love and honor family and love The Lord. I am super grateful for them. And I know I have said this multiple times, but you have loved our girls. So many of you have offered to watch them and play with them. Some of you are sacrificing work and to some extent your own family to help care for them. Being away from them for two weeks has been so hard but I have so much comfort in knowing they are so well loved and cared for.

Thank you is not enough. I cannot find the words for you all. Our friends, our family our amazing church. You guys know how to love. We feel loved. We promise to live a life paying it back that love to each of you.

In the next coming months we are going to live a pretty low key life. I am so excited for this right now but know I will probably go stir crazy. However it is really important for bonding and attachment with O. We have learned a lot about the incredible way The Lord has made babies and how they are created to attach and have their needs met by their momma in those early years. When there is no momma they may attach to a caregiver or anyone who meets their basic needs. I could go on and on about this, but for now I encourage you to read up on it if you have questions and trust us that O needs to have his needs met by us and no one else for now in order to learn that we are his mom and dad.

I adapted this list of DOs and DON'Ts from a friend's blog that may help you understand what we need.

DO’S

• PRAY!! Pray for O's transition, as well as the rest of our family. Pray for a deep attachment. Pray that we will not lose our sanity, as we cocoon! I am an on-the-go sort of mom. I start to go bonkers after two straight days in the house, so this is going to be a BIG challenge for me.
• Encouragement: Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to give an adoptive family space. You can still express care through cards, a meal, emails, etc. We just won’t be throwing any parties for a while. But I will need some adult contact. If I offer help or interaction please take me up on it. 
• Direct O to us. For example, “let’s ask your mom if that’s OK” or “I bet your daddy would like that; why don’t you show him?”
• Care for D and Lue. This is going to be tough for them. They will also be transitioning and will need attention and encouragement. Make them feel special and important.
• Read and educate yourself about attachment parenting and share this with others. Heck, even with us! We’re still learning!

DON’TS

• Physical interaction with O: Children coming from orphanage settings can be prone to attach too easily with anyone and everyone. This hinders the important child/parent bond from developing. For a while, Tyler and I need to be the only ones holding him. We ask that you do not try to take him from us or excessively give hugs and kisses. You may give him quick hugs and kisses, while he remains in our arms. Waving, blowing kisses, high fives are totally appropriate and welcomed! We want O to know you are trusted family and friends.
• Meeting his needs: Children from orphanages can become overly charming toward adults as a survival mechanism. We want to avoid this indiscriminate attachment/affection, as it would really set back our family bonding and can have far-reaching affects as he grows older. If O needs food, a drink, affection, or comfort, please allow Tyler and I to meet those needs. This is necessary for him to begin understanding that we are his parents.
• Gifts: If you want to give a gift to O, please ask us first. We’ve been advised to give him all gifts from our hands for the first few months home. You are welcome to save them. 
• Comparisons: Please do not compare to biological parenting. Attachment parenting is, in many ways, opposite of traditional parenting. Please trust and respect our choices.
• Assumptions: Don’t assume O is “relieved,” “grateful” or “excited” that he's been adopted. This is a life-altering difficult transition for many of these children.

We plan to adjust all this as we see fit so just be patient. We will be learning as we go. And please don't be hurt or offended if he shy's away from you. This is actually a good thing for us. Oh, and he has a good Seubert scowl already. Don't take it personally, he will have an amazing relationship with all of you soon. 

You are awesome. We love you and we are so thankful for each of you.